I have been meaning to write this article for quite some time now. I was actually waiting for my intuition around the subject to be proven wrong. Well, so far, it hasn't. Most people with menstrual cycles know very well what I'm talking about. Mood swings, swollenness, headaches, sleep problems, cramps, lower back pain, migraines, just to name a few. I have been diagnosed with PCOs since teenage years. I have been on the pill for years, undergone surgery to remove 2 big cysts from my right ovary which left it half, but functional. And then some pills more.
Until, against all doctors’ advice, I quit. (Not advising you to do the same)
Guess what? My ovaries work fine and haven’t developed any cysts again. Yes, I developed acne and body hair overgrowth. More pills to deal with those? NO. I went all the way natural. I will write about this in another article though.
My pre- and menstrual symptoms would vary depending on whether I was doing well mentally / emotionally, being sexually active, being cruel to myself and overworked, which was usually the case. What I also noticed though, was that some periods were almost coming without any sign.
Alternative healing vs. Shadow Work
Like every person with similar experiences, I tried different treatments or self treatments. Acupuncture, painkillers, homoeopathy, menstrual education and cycle awareness. Nope, in the long term those did not work for me. What had not occurred to me at that time, was the connection between fragmented self and physical symptoms. It’s one root cause of psychosomatics among others.
What is Fragmentation?
Fragments are genuine parts of ourselves that did not find a way to be voiced out, express their needs or desires because it was not safe to do so and they ended up partially or totally getting detached from the known self and either operating guarded and out of our awareness or suppressed in exile. This does not mean that they are gone. Like it or not.
What worked for me, having no intention around it or clue about the underlying connection, was Shadow Work.
What is shadow work?
In a nutshell, it is the conscious process of rediscovering and integrating parts of ourselves that we had to dissociate from, repress or bury in our ocean of unconsciousness for social acceptance or survival reasons (which is actually the same). It’s the kindest, self loving act towards myself so far. It’s allowing the truth to surface, no matter if I like it or fits to the persona I have designed in my fantasy for me. I was pulled to this work at the beginning of the dark season, last October.
I asked my higher self during a prayer to support me in this expedition and allow me to unfold those truths in a harmonic way, which I would be able to notice, process and integrate without getting overwhelmed by it. I read books and watched relevant videos when I realised how deeply Jung and other great psychotherapists had explored this subject. I find massive value in Jungs' books as I also have a very vivid dream world which has also been a self understanding and healing tool.
Own your shadow
Of course, don’t take my words for granted. This has been my experience and my inner compass just showed me this direction. Will I continue having smooth menstruation? I don’t know. Still, I find it too big not to share.
Something tells me that emotional healing brings multiple health benefits. I’m grateful I offered this chunk of blessing to myself.
Big hug to you all and know that I see you in your struggle.
Tara
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